Zélie and Thérèse Martin: A Short, But Deeply Blessed Relationship

Theresa Doyle-Nelson 

Therese and her mother - Charcoal by Céline, 1902. Archives of the Carmel of Lisieux

I loved Mamma and Papa very much and showed my tenderness for them in a thousand ways.

—St. Thérèse, Story of a Soul, Ch. I

The mother of St. Thérèse, St. Zélie (baptized as Azélie-Marie, but affectionately known as Zélie)—is an appealing-to-many, newer saint (canonized along with her husband, Louis, in 2015) who offers much to mull over as the mother of the dearly-loved Little Flower. It might come as a surprise to many that Thérèse actually wrote little about her mother in Story of a Soul. In reality, when writing of Zélie, she mostly quoted parts of various letters her mother had written to others rather than relaying her personal memories. In truth, their time together was quite shortened by Thérèse’s frail health as an infant and Zélie‘s early death. Nonetheless, Thérèse must have had a strong sense of love for her mother, for her references to Zélie convey deep affection and admiration. By slowly pondering the first years of her life, we learn that Thérèse’s mere three-and-a-half years of actually living with her mother held a foundation of love—though sprinkled heavily with difficult circumstances.  

A Difficult Separation

Zélie was an older mother, at 41, to little Thérèse, and had already given birth to eight children (four of whom died quite young). Zélie also had problems feeding Thérèse and most distressingly was forced to send her beloved three-month-old to a country farm outside of Alençon to live with a wet nurse for a full year, in order for her youngest child to survive.  

My little girl became worse and worse. Last Monday I sent for another doctor, Dr. Belloc. After examining the baby, he asked me what I had been giving her. He thought that this was good but not enough to nourish her in the weak state that she was in. Finally, he said to me, “This child must be breastfed right away. That’s the only thing that can save her.”

—Zélie Martin, March, 1873

So, little Thérèse moved about four miles away to live with and be nourished by her wet nurse, Rose Taillé (often called Little Rose). It is said that the Martin family visited Thérèse as often as they could—a bit tricky in 1873 when transportation was limited, so an hour-plus walk was often required instead. Letters left behind indicate that Little Rose and Thérèse became quite attached—surely a frustrating situation for Zélie to realize. Through Zélie’s letter-writing, it becomes easy to imagine her heart aching whenever she saw Thérèse’s preference of Little Rose.  

Little Thérèse came to see us yesterday. The wet nurse arrived, put the baby in our arms and left immediately for Mass. Yes, but the little one didn’t want this. She cried almost to the point of passing out! The entire house was in disarray. I had to send the maid to tell the wet nurse to come immediately after the Mass. The wet nurse left halfway through the Mass and came running. I was annoyed over this. The little one wouldn’t have died from crying. Oh well, she was instantly consoled.

—Zélie Martin, May 5, 1873

Finally, after being restored to robust health, Thérèse returned home at the age of 15 months. The homecoming was a difficult one; country living with Little Rose had become comfortable and normal for the toddler. Little Thérèse likely yearned for Rose, and Zélie may well have struggled to regain her status of mother to the toddler. It becomes clear from a letter written by Zélie a few months later, however, that the mother-daughter relationship was restored.

Here’s the little baby who’s coming to stroke my face with her little hand and kiss me. This poor little one doesn’t want to leave me, she’s continually with me. She loves to go in the garden, but if I’m not there she doesn’t want to stay and cries until they bring her back to me . . . . I’m very happy to see that she loves me so much, but sometimes it’s troublesome!

—Zélie Martin, June 25, 1874

 A Busy Mother

Zélie had much to concern her during her few years with young Thérèse.  For one, she was an Alençon lace maker—a highly successful lace maker with much business to tend to. Organizing her workers, keeping track of orders, and crafting lace herself, she often felt overwhelmed. Though it was a nice business to have when she was single, with a family to care for, it often felt quite burdensome.  Early in her pregnancy with Thérèse, she wrote:

Now, I’m in absolute slavery due to orders coming in one after the other that don’t allow me a moment’s rest. I have almost a hundred meters of Alençon lace to make. Last week I received more orders, totaling more than 15,000 francs.  

—Zélie Martin, April 24, 1872

Although her husband encouraged her to slow down and rest more, she felt duty-bound to press on. Zélie also frequently worried over her middle daughter, Léonie, who had many struggles both behaviorally and academically. She was a constant concern for Zélie who struggled to keep this daughter focused and settled. Shortly after Thérèse’s return from her year with Little Rose, Zélie wrote to her sister-in-law:

I know you’ve learned of my poor Léonie’s departure from the boarding school. As you can imagine, this upsets me greatly. This has caused me profound sorrow, which still continues. . . . I believe that only a miracle could change her nature. It’s true, I don’t deserve a miracle, and yet I hope against all hope. 

—Zélie Martin; June 1, 1874

Zélie’s health was also a problem; she had breast cancer that continually worsened, depleting her energy and abilities. Though Zélie’s deep love for her youngest child was frequently interrupted with difficult jolts of illnesses, a long separation, a demanding work schedule, and family challenges, she gave all she could to little Thérèse. She passed away in August 1877, when Thérèse was only four-and-a-half.

All the details of my mother’s illness are still present to me and I recall especially the last weeks she spent on earth. Céline and I were like two poor little exiles.

—Story of a Soul, Chapter II

 *Originally published in Apostolate of the Little Flower Vol. 89 No. 1